23 years OLD

Well here I sit on my 23rd birthday alone. Literally. The house is quiet with only the sound of my way over due laundry spinning in the machine. I was in no way excited about this birthday, mostly because its nothing to special and also because I really hadn't planned anything to do. Besides for lunch with Tiffany. I remember when wakin up on your birthday was so exciting. Mom would always hang our happy birthday banners in the kitchen and every year we would sign them, No banner this year. Mom is out helpin my sister come home (yay!!! Cant wait to see them!!) and dad is working. I think this birthday is hard because I feel like I have nothing to show for my life. I just broke up with "man" (as I like to call him) about 1 and half months ago, Its weird cause maybe 6 months ago I was lookin at wedding dresses... Wedding Dresses!!!!!!! And here I sit alone. on my 23rd Birthday, not even the slighest bit close to being a married woman... I did however decided that I will go back to school this fall and finish with hopefully a degree in teaching.. or IT as dad would so have me do. Well please dont feel sorry for me with this blog. I am a happy blessed 23 year old with a loving family who I would gladly lay my life down for. I have a great Job with new friends that I am making. I am very happy and very blessed. Besides my heavenly Daddy is celebrating with me today :)

Ps thanks momma butt for having me!! :D LOVE YOU

Calling

Today I was tired. SOOOO tired. I made it thru work. I made it on the drive home.. I made it thru dinner. then I went to lay down and crashed. I kept tellin my self I'm going to church tonight and I was destined to go. Then I fell asleep. But you know whats so funny? God works in crazy ways. I was awoken to my friend Jett callin me at 6 for no reason just to say hi. I thought hey I'm up I should go... o wait no gas to drive. Momma let me take the car. SO I went to church and had the most amazing wake up call there. God wanted me there. I was feelin so alone. Like everyone in my life was fake or like I had abandoned the good ones. I was starting to feel like I was comin to the end, I was feelin really sad lately but tonight at service, God was like HEY! I'm here with you, I have been here silly lady! And I was so overwhelmed by it all that I just sat there and let the tears fall down. 2 years of real tears being held in came streamin down my face and I just let God hug me, take care of me there in that moment. No one around me mattered, no outside world mattered. It was just me, God and the pastor. Reminding me to push on. That there is so much more living I have to do. That I have a purpose and I'm getting really close to figuring it out. God is GOOD! and so loving. It sounds silly but the only way I ever want to express it is to go get like a million tattoos screaming Gods love for me and the world. Weird huh? lol. Untill then!