I have always wanted what I couldn't have. For as far back as I can remember... And now today... I sit in my cold basement, looking at the temporary bed (couch) that I will lay my lonesome head down... I miss someone that was probably as good as it gets. Or so I feel. Lately I cannot escape my memories of him, he is there in my mind everywhere. Mostly when I'm with my sister, I remember all those feelings I had of wanting to be with him forever and starting a family, just like hers. When I see a little house with a white fence I think of him. When I think of getting a dog I think of him. I always knew these feelings were there when we were together but I thought they were just lies. Rebound, is what I passed them off as. Rebound? Really? Couldn't I just accept the fact that is was love? No, I was to afraid. To guarded, to protected. What an idiot. I cry sometimes at night because I feel guilty, bad that I have put him through so much pain. So much hurt. I broke his heart and he let me know it. And now, mine breaks.... bleeds. I want to contact him soooo bad but I will suffer through my pain and let him move on. Move on to someone who can give him EVERYTHING, and not when its to late. And after I lick my wounds I too will move on...
I will cast my eyes on you God, Heal my wounds ...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment